bios

HOLY FVCK. They’ve outdone themselves again this year. Ramfest started with rave festivals at a resort called Nekkies. These days, it’s a one-day event in each city, so two days if you count Cape Town and Pretoria.

Ramfest (aka Halloween CPT) is an annual event hosted by Tanja and Robbi P, who are also behind St Parow’s Day and the Halloween events in Cape Town and Pretoria. Each event usually brings one international artist together with some of South Africa’s best. The lineup includes Jack Parow—who gets mentioned first because, full disclosure, he’s also my client of ten years—along with Fokofpolisiekar, Sunken State, Doom Trigger, and a number of other bands.

Halloween Cape Town served as something of a testing ground for a new top-notch venue just around the corner from Texas. The space has high ceilings, hangar vibes, an industrial feel with plenty of room for all the costumed metalhead rockers and Lekker Mense. The Mario Brothers, Evil Bunnies, Playboy Bunnies, Priests, Zombies, Demons, and Supergirl, aka Tori my future wife and photographer.

Doom Trigger’s hard-as-fuck metalcore assaulted our ears with crystal-clear precision, Fokof’s set was positively next level, and Jack Parow’s was one for the books, joined by Francois van Coke for “Dans Dans Dans” and “Hard Partytjie Hou” before both pulled off their signature dual stage dive—and the sound was perfect.

I missed Sunken State’s set but caught the last track, and boy do these hardcore fuckers FUCK. They fuck hard. Reegan (from Facing the Gallows as well), along with the rest of these lads, got the early crowd HEAVING.

Doom Trigger: it’s all in the name. They put on a fucking performance—frenetic, energetic, with even Lara Croft stage-diving while it was still light outside. But she wasn’t the only Lara Croft in town. Moving through the VIP section, the crowd yielded everything from Pokémon to the evil bunny nurse from Silent Hill. Shout out to Milda Deale.

Following a barrage of shots, rails, and other paraphernalia in the VIP section, I jumped on stage, donned the mascot helmet, and started dancing. Parow ran up to me, moved the mic to the side, and whispered, “Lloyd, you’re a fucking knee, bro.” About ten seconds later, I collapsed to the floor as my knee rolled to the right. I assumed a Gemini model pose and pretended not to be in pain.

Reegan pulled me off the stage—my hero—by my other leg as if he was a medic pulling a wounded soldier off the battlefield. But I realized my glasses were somewhere on stage. Clambering back on through the billowing smoke machines, I crawled around like some loser until I eventually had to give up and wait for the set to finish. Reegan found the glasses underneath the drum kit platform.

Backstage, Zander and I high-five. We share a shot. We share a drink. We share a bit of a cry. I feel immortal.

Somewhere in the festival, with Fokofpolisiekar in the distance, I am breastfeeding an animatronic zombie baby.

Event: 10/10
Diversity: 7/10